Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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