Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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