i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
