stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im holly from the hills drunk
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
