I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
