At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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