you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
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If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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