I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
