you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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