I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
