I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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