Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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