fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
