So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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