Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
