"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
