oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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