One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
