I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
