Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
