1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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