his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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