Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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