lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
