I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
