Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
not ubering you a puppy
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
