Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
