Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
