Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
