She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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