my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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