i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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