Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
