Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
