we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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