she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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