is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
