Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
