4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
