what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
