so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
