I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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