my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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