I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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