Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
