I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
