Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
