Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
