This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
