But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
