I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
