we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
