good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
