he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
