if you like me you must not know who I am
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
