i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize