I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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