you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
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As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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