I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
