Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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