If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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