saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
