pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
