You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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