I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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