You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
