i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
