Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
