some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
