Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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