Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize